It's early - about 6:30 am and I'm awake. At this point it's easy to look at things and feel like our family is at the tipping point. Mostly it's finances that are weighing us down. As I formulate plans to pay down debt for both the business and for personal, it seems more than we can do. How can we begin to pay down debt when it seems such a stretch to meet the minimums?
We've looked at every option. Abandoning the house we've been living in and remodeling as a lease/purchase and moving back to the one we own is one of those options. The biggest problem is that it is so far away from the school where our daughter attends and we feel like this is a place God gave us, He led us here and has allowed us to come so far during such a tumultuous time for our family.
Last week, I was struggling with my own abilities as a wife and mother, expecting baby number four. It's been a tough pregnancy - lots of morning sickness and pain in my back and I still have a ways to go. I stayed up most of one night wrestling with arranging my schedule to make it all work. I couldn't formulate a plan. I finally just turned it over to God, asking for his "peace that passeth understanding". I told satan to stop bugging me, to stop telling me the lies that I was a failure at everything. I felt so much better after this time in prayer and daily reminding myself of God's promises, that I slept. It doesn't sound like much, but it was huge.
Now this week, we are reminded of the debt we owe and again I am overwhelmed. As I awoke this morning I turned Psalms, where I found words that were there for today. "My days are like a shadow that declineth; and I am withered like grass. but thou, O Lord, shalt endure for ever; and they remembrance untao all generations...He will regard the prayer of the destitute ... The children of they servants shall continue and their seed shall be established before thee. "
I am beat. I don't have what it takes to continue, but the same isn't true of my Lord. He continues. He is strong for me. His plan is the one I need and I need to rest in his promises. So I off to rest more completely in Him, knowing that daily I will need to remind myself to allow Him to take my burdens and give me his peace; certain that his mercies never cease and he has promised to give exceedingly and abundantly above all that we ask or imagine.
