As I (cough, cough) enjoy my last days of what we expect to be our last pregnancy, I wanted to reflect a little on the privilege the Lord has given us to bear children. There was a point when I was told that due to polycystic ovaries, it would be difficult to get pregnant and would likely miscarry if I did. Within our first year of marriage, we had no trouble getting pregnant, in fact, we were pregnant within the first six months! However, after 17 weeks, we lost the baby to cancer - a very rare thing in utero, resulting in two DNC's to ensure there were no cancerous cells left behind.
Six months later, we were pregnant again with Grace, who turned nine one week ago. The pregnancy was fairly uneventful, but the delivery was difficult. I hemhorraged. Grace had the cord around her neck and wasn't breathing for the first few moments. We both recovered fine.
Then another miscarriage. Then Micah. We had a big scare during his pregnancy due to an ultrasound tech doing a poor job of taking measurements - but he was healthy and his delivery was very fast!
Then Elijah - his pregnancy was plagued with problems, resulting in 17 ultrasounds over the course of the nine months. His delivery was smooth, but he was vomiting for the first few days and earned his first of what would ultimately be many, many hospital stays.
Then two miscarriages. Then Gideon, a more difficult pregnancy resulting in high blood pressure and an induction, and then more blood pressure problems afterwards. My pelvis was also worn out from another pregnancy, and it was advised that maybe this should be it for us.
And now we are days away from welcoming number five, a little girl they tell us! We think this will truly be it. This mom is tired and not getting any younger. At the OB office, there was another mom that gave her birthdate at check in and I was shocked to hear a year that started with nineteen -ninety, mine starts with nineteen seventy. Wow!
Overall, my pregnancies have gone smooth. I've been blessed by wonderful children and we know that the Lord has brought us each little personality for a reason and given them to us as the perfect parents for this particular child (although far from feeling perfect in the moment to moment each day). Each one has shaped and molded our family in a different way and been a part of making us who we are. I have loved being pregnant - partly because I can eat whatever and for once my metabolism works (I've gained less than ten pounds with any pregnancy, and lose it all within the first two days) - but mostly I enjoy feeling the baby inside me and dreaming of how this baby will be different than the others. I've even enjoyed the miracle of giving birth. I'm priveleged to have delivered them all naturally, and with the exception of Grace, without an epidural. So many haven't experienced this.
So today, despite really wanting this baby out, I'm thankful to be pregnant. I'm thankful that God allowed us to carry four, soon to be five, pregnancies to term and deliver healthy babies. I'm thankful for the four babies we'll meet someday in heaven. I'm thankful that nearly eleven years after being married, we are completing this phase of our family and aren't struggling to conceive like so many we know have dealt with and like the doctor predicted would be our path.
I know this isn't profound stuff, but I really just wanted to reflect on how the Lord has blessed us for a moment before this phase is complete.
